آنطور ها هم که فکر میکنیم، پدر و مادرمان بی تقصیر نیستند.

وقتی که داشتم به یه بخش از وجودم که می خوام تغییرش بدم فکر می کردم، و درباره ی ریشه ها و زمینه هاش تامل می کردم، دیدم که این بخش از وجودم توی پدرم، و پدربزرگم هم وجود داشته و داره. دیدم چقدر ساده انگارانه است اگه این نقص رو  فقط مربوط به خودم بدونم و این اشکالی که الان من در خودم پیدا کرده ام چقدر ریشه های عمیق تری داره.

 

و چقدر آدم ها در اوایل جوانی (نوجوانی) عیب هایی رو در خودشون پیدا می کنن، و گمان می کنن این عیبیه که یکی دو ساله دچارش هستن، و همین باعث می شه نسبت بهش بیش از حد خوشبین و سهل انگار باشن، در حالی که اون رو از پدر و عموها و پدربزرگشون به ارث برده اند، حتی شاید اگه بیشتر دقت کنن متوجه بشن این عیب به طور عمومی توی فامیلشون یا شهرشون یا کشورشون ریشه دوونده.

 

از همین طریق می شه از آفت بسیاری از مقایسه ها هم دور موند، کسی که مجموعِ درآمد فامیلشون به صد میلیون نمی رسه، عاقلانه نیست اگه خودش رو از نظر توانایی کاسبی با کسی مقایسه کنه که باباش کارخونه داره. یا مثلا کسی که ده درصد اعضای فامیلشون نماز می خونن، نمی تونه خودش رو در زمینه ی میل به عبادت با کسی مقایسه کنه که نود درصد فامیلشون معمم هستن.

 

شاید هدفِ واقعی تر این باشه که تلاش کنیم نسخه ی کمی بهتر شده ای از پدرمون باشیم، تا این که بخوایم کسی بشیم که در همه ی زمینه ها از همه بهتره! (البته این بند رو اصلا دوست ندارم، و خودم هم بهش ملتزم نیستم. تازه من خیلی مونده به پدرم برسم، پس فعلا حتی درباره ی من موضوعیت هم نداره. ولی شاید بد نباشه گوشه ی گوشه ی ذهنمون باشه.)

و در آخر حواسمون باشه که بخش هایی از ما توی بچه مون، نسلمون، فامیلمون و … کپی می شه. مشکلِ تو، احتمالا مشکلِ بچه ات هم خواهد بود.

یکی از دردناک ترین واقعیت ها همینه، این که عیب های ما باهامون تموم نمی شن، باهامون نمی رن زیر خاک، که اگه این طور بود خیلی راحت تر بود. عیب های ما منتشر می شن، اون هم به صورت نمایی! نمایی در نمایی در نمایی. (حال توضیحش رو ندارم، با یکم فکر می شه فهمیدش)

 

شاید چندان نیازی به نوشتن این پست نبود، عموما بلدیم همه ی تقصیرها رو گردن پدر و مادرمون بندازیم، بیش از حد، احتمالا این نوشته به بیشترمون کمکی نکنه.

ولی خودِ من مدت ها بود که تقصیر عیبامون گردن کسی ننداخته بودم، برای من لازم بود. 🙂

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