لبخند در تهران خیلی کم است. دعوا زیاد است. بیشترشان، دیگری را خر میدانند. بیشترشان برای دیگری جوک سیاسی میفرستند.
بیشترشان این جوکها را میفرستند چون ناخودآگاهشان تلاش میکند بهشان تلقین کند که در میان خیل عظیم گولخوردهها، تنها تویکی که جدیت وسیاست را به جوک وخنده برگزار میکنی، « گول نخوردهای».
من تهران را با مترو و تاکسی و اتوبوس گز میکنم، بیشتر و با خودروی شخصی، خیلی خیلی کمتر .
من با آدمهای زیادی در خیابان و اتوبوس ومترو دمخورم.
منظورم از آدمها، سیاسیون اصلاحطلبی نیست که فکرمیکنند دغدغه مردم حصر موسوی و ممنوعالتصویری خاتمی و به محاق رفتن اندیشههای مبتنی بر جامعه مدنی و … است.
منظورم از آدمها، سیاسیون اصولگرایی نیست که فکر میکنند مردم شب و روز عزادار بی توجهی به ارزشها و به محاق رفتن نقش مسجد و تاثیر دین و فقه بر زندگی شخصی اند.
من با مردمی دمخورم که همگی نگرانند. استرس تمام وجودشان را گرفته است. خشمگینند نسبت به همهچیز و سرگردانند. حس میکنند چیزی اشتباه است اما هیاهوی روحانیون، سیاسیون، روشنفکران، رسانهها، روزنامهها، شبکهها و… چنان گیجشان کرده که وقتی در پی به زبان آوردن خویشاند انگاری هذیان میگویند: ملغمهای از گذشته، نفرت، پاره نوشتههایی از این و آن، چندکلمهای روایت مغلوط مثلا تاریخی، چند اتهام به این و آن، چند جوک بندتنبانی وآهی کشدار.
اینها خلاصه آن چیزهایی است که من به عنوان حرف مردم شنیدهام و تازه این حرف آن دسته است که حرف میزنند، مابقی که یا سردرگریبان دارند یا سر در موبایل و همه گیرنده و دست به کپی اقوال و افعالی که هیچ چیز را در زندگی خودشان و دیگران تغییر نمیدهد.
اینجا هرچقدر غم نان ورخوت روزمرگی و فرسودگی امید هست میان سیاسیون هم معرکهای دیگر برپاست. دغدغه اینکه فلان کس در فلانجا چه گفته و فلان کس در فلان چیز با که زد و بست کرده و فلان جا در تقسیم مصطبه و مسند به که رسیده؟
کافهها پر است از دود و تاریکی و نشخوار کلمات و جملاتی که ته هرکدام ایسمی است و دعوا بر سر براهنی و شاملو و تارکوفسکی و اوزو و …خدا خیرش بدهد باعث و بانی انتشار نامههای فروغ را که یک خورجین موضوع، مزهی جاسیگاریهای پر از ته سیگار کافهها کرد.
دادگاه و زندان و خانهها و … را سرک نکشیدم اما دوستانی که قاضیاند حیرانند از وفور این همه جرم و دوگانه بیرون و داخل خانه این ملت و قتل و غارت و …و آنها که سری در دالانهای پنهان جامعه دارند انگشت گزان از فروپاشی هولناک خانوادهها و آدمها و ….
در مقالات شمس آمده:« منافق همه فتح بیند وهیچ لشگر شکستن نبیند» این زمان اما دیدن اینها که گفتم همه سیاهنمایی است. چاره کنونی همه دردهای امروز این اجتماع آفتزده، پاک کردن صورت مسالهاست. اگر روایتی یا خبری به مذاق خوش نمیآید، یقینن کذب است. اگر کسی راوی آفت وبلایی است یقینن کاذب است. اگر چیزی تسهیل کننده افشای درد است یقینن ابزار فساد است. اگر کسی گوش جان داده به انذاری، یقینن فریبخورده است.
اینگونه همه چیز را ساده دیدن، اینگونه بستن و زدن و گرفتن را باطل السحر همه مشکلات تصور کردن و اینگونه چشم بر تجربیات جهان و درسهای تلخ گذشته بستن از سوی آنکه عنان قدرت در دست اوست، نگران کننده است.
اینگونه همه سیاست را گره زدن به دغدغههای تصدی منصب ومقام و بده بستانهای پشت پرده به اسم جامعه مدنی و اعتدال یا ارزشها واصولگرایی، از جانب سیاسیون، نگران کننده است.
اینگونه همه چیز را وانهادن به روزمرگی و احاله مسئولیت به دیگری و غرق شدن در مسخرگی، لوده بازی یا سردرجیب بردن وتن دادن به غریزه و نابردباری و خشم و بیعلاقگی به دانستن و چاره جویی کردن از جانب طیف وسیعی از مردم ، نگران کننده است.
ترس ونگرانی که به شکل مضحکی گاه در بیخیالی تجسم پیدا میکند و رقابتی توام با خصومت و طمعی ناتمام در همهچیز، تهرانی است که من روزی صدبار در رفتار، حرفها ونگاه آدمهایی که در اطرافم هستند، به وضوح، میبینم. این احساس برای هرکسی که در این جامعه از همگسیخته و سرگردان تلوتلو میخورد، آنچنان ملموس است که انکار آن به ریشخندی هم نمیارزد.
تهران مخوف است. آدمها ترسناک، افکار پریشان، حرفها رها شده، بیسامان و گزنده، صداها گوشخراش و هوا آلوده، هشداردهندگان تختهبند و موشهای فربه شهر، غرق رویای نه چندان دور طاعون.
من میترسم. ترسناکی اینها که گفتم از جنس آن ترسهایی است که از آن حرف میزنی و چهره آرام شنوندههایت، هراسانترت میکند.
شبها که تهران خوابیده است و فقط آنهایی بیدارند که سرما خواب را از چشمشان قاپیده و آنها که از مرور خاطرات روز تهران، هراسان شدهاند، من، به اینها که نوشتم فکر میکنم. به اینها که صدای زنگدارشان در دالان ذهن منهم تا زمان سنگینی پلکها، بیشتر، نمیپاید.
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